Richard "Please Punch Me In The Face" Cohen... I can't believe I'm saying this, but maybe he should stick to writing about politics?
His latest column is, for some reason, about how Daniel Craig is too damn sexy and buff, and about how, at 44 –44!– Craig has no business being so studly and ripped. Daniel Craig makes Richard Cohen feel funny when he looks at his "marbleized" body.
Why can't Daniel Craig be more like Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart or Sean Connery, the latter of whom was, evidently, not sexy as James Bond at all?
And then Cohen bemoans kids today –tsk– with their hours spent in the gym and their protein powders 'n' such. Cohen also uses the word "zeitgeisty," which is not a word, and alone should get him fired from the Post.
And then... then.... OMG, he ends with a "Cohen. Richard Cohen" line at the end, just to prove that he is the hackiest hack in hackville, and because James Bond's favorite drink is also his own.
And then Richard Cohen finished the last drop of scotch from his bottle, hit the "send" button, and passed out.
UPDATE: I shared my thoughts with a fellow Cohen-watcher, Pony Pal Pareene, who responded:
Amazing. Just completely amazing.
(Also he doesn't appear to know that Cary Grant was a circus acrobat!)