Saturday, March 14, 2009

I Got Bored with My Facial Hair, So I Banished It to the 19th Century



Haw, well, I said I was going to make this blog more personal, so why not start things off with a full-on, unflattering face shot? I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm less than comfortable doing so. But there it is: my camera-angle-enhanced big nose for all the world to see.

The facial hair pattern shown above is usually called "friendly muttonchops," the "friendly" part referring to the mustache which bridges the sideburns. I, however, like to think of it as the "ventriloquist dummy." I was a little nervous about sporting this old-fashioned style, but so far the reaction has been very positive/amused from my friends and coworkers. Now all I need is a top hat and spats and more velvet in my wardrobe.

Facial hair is one of my security blankets. The very least I've had over the last twenty years is a soul patch. The idea of being completely bare-faced fills me with dread. I'm glad to be living now during the great renaissance/liberation of facial hair, where pretty much all styles are now acceptable anywhere. Think of the reaction my friendly muttonchops would have gotten in the 80s!

UPDATE: from Uncle Splatty:


15 comments:

Madduane said...

I've seen that face sans fringe. It's a very cute face, either way.

lebecka said...

May I recommend a curly mustache? My husband wears one-- people come up to him in restaurants, etc, to comment on how great it is. Which it is.

Ensign Steve said...

"I'm glad to be living now during the great renaissance/liberation of facial hair, where pretty much all styles are now acceptable anywhere."

Amen! I love all the fabulous styles you guys come up with.

cranberryzero said...

i was wanting to do something like that on myself, but sadly my facial hair doesn't make a nice connection from mustache to beard-- there's this gap in between the two that no amount of praying seems to bridge. it saddens me.

J. Matt said...

The "friendly mutton chops."

Beautiful.

Travis said...

Wherever your journey takes you, Sparkle, we will go along for the ride.

RodNOH said...

I thought I was alone in my need for facial hair throughout my adult life -- even if (like u, sparkle!) it is a little patch of hair under the lip --

luff the friendly mutton chops!

Karen Zipdrive said...

I like the look.
It says "I'm cool and you know I am."
It says, "Don't blame me, I'm not a corporate asshole."
It says, "Eat your heart out, butch dykes who don't have quite enough facial hair to do this."
And I like your nose. It says, "No, I am not a merry Leprechaun, you silly twit."
I think you're rather handsome in a Donald Sutherland kinda way.
I bet the boys love you like crazy.

elkit said...

So nice to "meet you in person"! And I'm all in favor of spats and top hats and velvet. Chivalry is not dead. :-)

Anonymous said...

OMG! You'll poke somebody's eye out with that thing!!

w00fs none the less.

samael7 said...

Uncle Splatty's p-shop is excellent. Though I don't know you personally, I like to believe that he's either captured some aspect of you or made it up whole cloth with that picture, either of which is awesome.

Anonymous said...

Oh I can see you running with that wonderful couple, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, with that facial hair. I had that back in college in the 70's. Liked it then, like it now.

"Come, Watson, the game's afoot!"

dguzman said...

Love the nose, love the friendly muttonchops.

lorrwill said...

You could so rock teh steam punk.

Anonymous said...

Let me introduce myself: I'm your new on-line stalker. Sadly, I'll probably lose interest pretty soon and move onto stalking some other guy. But until then, please post revealing pics and sexual anecdotes. I promise they will be appreciated!