Wednesday, January 11, 2006

New Condibot Clapping Algorhythms Work Perfectly!



That's Alberto yesterday, impressed as never before by the lifelike qualities of the Condibot.

4 comments:

the Alpha John said...

/* author's note: this CondiBot program stolen from the same Jim Henson laboratory where she, Dick Cheny, and Ronald Reagan (aka "The Mark I") were all built */

public class condiApplause extends condiBot, implements personalityInteracter {

// private functions only available to condi and a few exceptional donors to the RNC
private void condiMouthMovement ();
private void condiEyeMovement ();
private void condiNeckMovement ();

public static void main ( String args[] ){

try {
if (honoree == presidentBush) {
condiMouthMovement(toothyGrin);
condiEyeMovement(bangMeBigPapa);
condiNeckMovement(iLoveMeSomeBotox);
} else if (honoree == foreignPerson) {
condiMouthMovement(closedMouthGrin);
condiEyeMovement(sillyForeigner);
condiNeckMovement(holdUpMyPerlsHoney);
} else if (honoree == enemyOfState) {
condiMouthMovement(smirkLikeYourManBeCheating);
condiEyeMovement(scowlLikeBigMomma);
condiNeckMovement(tiltAndRoll);
} else if (honoree == stupidDemocrat) {
condiMouthMovement(bigFakeSmile);
condiEyeMovement(getMeOutOfHere);
condiNeckMovement(letsRunForTheBorder);
}
} catch (unexpectedPerson u) {
u.logError(whoDaFuckAreYou);
condiMouthMovement(topTeethOnly);
condiEyeMovement(lookThenRoll);
condiNeckMovement(iDidTooManySquatsAtTheGymThisMorning);
}

system.Exit(0);
}

} // end condiApplause

Karen Zipdrive said...

How impressive!

Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

Damn, you're onto our plan!

You have to admit, though, that the bad teeth gave the Condi Bot an authentic touch.

Karen Zipdrive said...

So do the creepy freckles.