Showing posts sorted by relevance for query larry craig. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query larry craig. Sort by date Show all posts

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

OK, I'm Officially Over Larry Craig

But not before an encore of Larry Craig Hand Turkeys:









Blogging at Wonkette was fun today! I was better-prepared than I was last year, so it wasn't as scary and hectic. I had lots of fun with Senator Craig, true, but I also got to make fun of John McCain being old, John Ashcroft's wife for sticking her tongue out at Alberto Gonzales, the Spy Museum for being expensive and infested with tourist children, and Condi 'n' George for going to the moon! Overall, it was a pretty sparkley day!

UPDATE! For future reference, here are links to the rest of my Wonkette posts for the day:
Good Morning!
Larry Craig weekend news Corral!
Carolina GOP sex scandals are old-fashioned, but feature funnier names.
Jerry Lewis says the f-word. No, the other f-word.
Dear Wonkette: Is there an airport sexytime play toilet in my area? Probably!
Larry Craig's adopted kids: terribly naive or is it just the bad hairdos?
Larry Craig-related sacred relics! Hurry!
Ha ha ha! Larry Craig Photoshops! What'll those kids think of next?

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Return of the Prodigal Tosser


Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, answers a reporters' question as he enters the weekly GOP lunch on Capitol Hill in Washington,Tuesday, Sept. 18, 2007. Craig returned to Washington Tuesday for the first time since public disclosure of his guilty plea in a restroom sex sting. (AP Photo/Lauren Victoria Burke)


It was terribly exciting on Capitol Hill yesterday, because much to the delight of all his Republican colleagues, Larry Craig came back! Hooray! The lavatories at Union Station were positively abuzz! Dana Milbank was on the scene with a hilarious report, one which gives the impression of nervous GOP stalwarts fleeing in terror from the toxic Idahoan (and wire photographers doing the opposite).

One thing is certain from Milbank's account, that Arlen Specter really, really needs to get himself a slang dictionary [emphasis mine]:

Even Craig's few defenders were having trouble finding words. "You don't toss off, er, over, a friend of that duration," reasoned Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.), who suggested that others feel the same way in private. "There's been a lot of favorable talk about Larry in the cloakroom," Specter said.


Um, hello? Arlen? You're not helping! I believe that the phrasing you were groping for was that you didn't want to blow him off.

But speaking of being helpful, the Associated Press decided that their clients surely needed context, so they provided photographs (from every angle!) of the scene of Larry's mortifying crime, now Minneapolis' top tourist attraction:


The bathroom at the Minneapolis St. Paul International Airport in Minneapolis where U.S. Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, was arrested in a sex sting is shown Monday Sept. 17, 2007. Karen Evans, information specialist at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport said the airport has since been giving directions to the men's room near a central food court and shopping area. "It's become a tourist attraction," said Evans. (AP Photo/Andy King)



Oh, talk about impossible to resist:

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Larry Craig Now Truly Toasted



I like to think that my story on Wonkette about David Phillips' brownback* encounter with Larry Craig was a fairly significant blow to the senator's "I'm not gay" denials. Today, real reporter Dan Popkey of the Idaho Statesman follows up on my sloppy, amateurish reporting on David and adds a few more names into the cauldron. Absolutely excruciating audio clips are included! Yay!

Squirm, Larry Craig, squirm!

UPDATE: I love how John Aravosis, who never acknowledged the original Wonkette/PSP story, is now --OH!-- simply all over it.

UPDATE: Local Boise follow-up with the best headline: Statesman Hands Larry Craig a Dismal Day.

It's about noon on Sunday, and I can officially state that this scandal has absolutely, positively detonated all over again.

*I'm just so pleased about this new term: brownbacking (which leads, of course, to santorum). I hope it catches on.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I Guess Larry Craig's Favorite Airport Restroom was Fun While it Lasted

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Larry Craig: Very Silly Tearoom Queen Indeed! Let's Laugh Some More


Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., left, and Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, participate in a news conference on agriculture and immigration reform, Tuesday, May 15, 2007, on Capitol Hill in Washington. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)

Oh, I love signs at press conferences; they just make it so easy:



Also, ahem! Sen. Craig had a brave press conference (this link goes to CNN, who delightfully refer to their subject as the bathroom scandal senator on their current front page) all his own, today! And he'd like us all to know that, hello? He totally isn't a hairdresser! For real! As if, right?

You see, it turns out that Larry Craig, a man dogged by rumors of lewd sex in public places, totally pled guilty by mistake after being arrested for soliciting lewd sex in a public place which had become notorious for illegal acts of lewd public sex. It's all a crazy, unfortunate coincidence!

Anyway, it turns out that it's all the media's fault.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Ha Ha Ha! Let's Laugh Some More at This Picture of Mitch McConnell Looking Nervously at Larry Craig Just Three Days After Craig's Sexy Toilet Arrest


Sen. Larry Craig, (R-Idaho), front, gestures with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, during a news conference about theenergy bill, on Capitol Hill, Thursday, June 14, 2007. (AP/Doug Mills, The New York Times)


Why so revolted and scared-looking, Mitch? Why do you seem so uncomfortable in Larry Craig's presence, Mr. Senator? Ha, ha, ha! Wheeee!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Larry Craig: In the Eyes of the Court, Still a Choad-Gobbling Stall Monster



Poor Larry! His latest attempt to "appeal" his own voluntarily-given guilty plea has come to naught:

A court just ruled that Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, can't withdraw his guilty plea in the criminal case that derailed his political career.

Members of a state appeals court said this morning that Craig, who was arrested in 2007 during a sex sting at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, failed to convince them that the law was too broad or that the trial judge abused his discretion.

Here's the entire 10-page ruling.

The Associated Press says Craig can still appeal his case to the state's highest court.



Please keep appealing, Larry! You'll always be appealing to us!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Larry Craig's Sexytime Cryptic Foot-Tapping Explained



One thing that stood out (LOL) in Senator Larry Craig's arrest report (for soliciting public sex with other men in an airport restroom, you may remember) was all the weird foot-tapping, almost as if the wayward Republican had been attempting to recreate one of the more heartfelt tap dancing scenes in Pennies from Heaven or, more plausibly, rudimentary Morse Code for "I want to [give pleasure to] your [poultry-related euphemism for male genitalia]." The arresting officer reports:

At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly.


Is this tapping part of the secret, not-terribly-subtle or complicated code of the tearoom queens? Why yes, inquiring mind, it certainly is! From the same public toilet sex-enthusiast web site I quoted yesterday comes this helpful tip (emphasis mine):

If you are in the stalls, pick the stall that might offer the most privacy (if there is such a thing). Many Cruisers go for the handicap stall if there is one, because it offers the most room and is often at the farthest end of the washroom. Once there you can pull your pants down all the way to your ankles. This is a good sign that you open for business.

More and more public restrooms have automatic toilet flushing devices. Take a couple sheets of toilet paper folded, spit on an edge, and cover the electronic sensor. That way you can lean forward to check out other [people who give pleasure to poultry-related euphemisms for male genitalia] without the toilet automatically flushing.

If there is someone beside you, try tapping your foot once and see if he taps back. If he does, move your foot closer and do it again. After a couple taps back and forth, you are usually in luck. Clearing your throat can also be a good way of letting other guys in the restroom know you are there.


Poor Larry, he was doing everything right!

PS: For those of you yesterday who were wondering exactly how they... pleasure each other... under the stalls:

If there are no glory holes, you can go for under-the-stall action. Make sure that if you are on your knees having some guy [give you pleasure] underneath the stall, that you are flexible enough to quickly get up and recover should someone else come in. If there are glory holes, see the Glory Hole section of this guide for more info on getting off at your local hole.


This has been the most educational week ever on Princess Sparkle Pony!

UPDATE: From Thursday's Washington Post:

"If you are in the stall, you tap your foot, and if the person next to you taps a foot, you keep going back and forth until one person makes a move," he says. "Someone will then stick their hand underneath. Or they will pass a note on paper. Or, what I've heard is, when they think it's safe," they will move on to sexual contact in the space beneath the partition."


Wow, does that sound in any way familiar?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Today's Larry Craig Chuckle



From Al Kamen's column in today's Post:


This from a Nov. 12, 1999, Loop column.

Bipartisanship Never Sleeps Quote of the Week: Sure, it's only Friday, but we're confident this one can't be topped. It's from Sen. Larry E. Craig (R-Idaho), remarking Tuesday on how he and Sen. Robert C. Byrd (D-W.Va.) were in sync on some mining issues.

"Politics makes strange bedpersons," Craig said, according to the New York Times. "I would not be uncomfortable in Bob Byrd's bed."

But Byrd might be.


ROFFLES. Now why did it take so long for that to resurface? Well, better late than never. Larry Craig: always funny, forever and ever, amen.

Friday, January 03, 2014

Happy Birthday To Wonkette!


(Illustrations from "Building a Better Photo-Op", 11-26-07)

Is it difficult or easy to believe that Wonkette has been around for ten years? Maybe a little bit of both?

Longtime Pony Pals may remember that I guest blogged for Wonkette a few times during the Alex Pareene and Ken Layne regimes, and then later did a weekly "Condi Roundup" column. I honestly can't remember who contacted me first about doing it, but I was very flattered to be asked, because at the time, Wonkette was kind of a big deal! And also at the time, the site was owned by Gawker, so they paid, which was nice, but I would have done it for free if they had asked (SO many readers!).


Here's how it worked: I was set up on their Wordpress account, assigned a username, and then it was off to the races.  You would connect with the other writers and the editor via chat (AIM at first, later Gmail chat). Throughout the day, you'd search, search, search for something to write about, or troll the tip email account for material (slim pickings!). Sometimes the editor would assign a topic, and other times you would suggest a post you wanted to write, and then would get the thumbs up or down from the editor. After writing the post (and finding appropriate illustrations), the editor would review it, and then either you or he would post it. Mission accomplished! Now do it 11 more times!


Bloggers were required to come up with 12 posts a day, and before actually trying it, that seemed really easy to me. Boy, was I wrong! I found the whole thing to be really nerve-wracking, but exhilarating at the same time. Sometimes it would be, like, 3PM and I'd think, "OMG, I've only done seven posts, arrrrrrgh!" That's when I'd hit "One News Now" or, in desperation, see if Ann Coulter had said anything that day (easy post!).


At the end of the day, even though I'd engaged in little or no physical activity whatsoever, I was exhausted. How did these people do it? Day after day, week after week, 12 posts a day! This was a valuable lesson, because I realized I could NEVER do this for a living. No way. As you'll see below, it's a good thing I found this out.


After Alex Pareene left, another editor took over. I don't remember his name, but he didn't last long. Meanwhile, I stumbled into a major scoop. The Larry Craig scandal had just broken, and I was at a bar chatting with my friend Dave, and the following conversation took place:

Me: Ha ha, are you enjoying the Larry Craig scandal?
Dave: Yes! Very much! You know what? I slept with him once!
Me: Are you KIDDING ME?
Dave: No! (Tells story.)
Me: Uhhh... David, are you aware that I'm a part-time gossip blogger? I would LOVE to write about this on Wonkette.
Dave: Never heard of it. Sure!
Me: Would you go on the record?
Dave: Sure, why not?

So the next day, via chat and email, I interviewed Dave and got him to write his story in the form of a narrative. It was quite an explicit tale! And he was willing to go on the record, which nobody had in relation to Larry Craig's gayness. I knew I had a really hot scoop on my hands. Before I even had a chance to offer it to Wonkette, in a case of perfect timing, I was asked by their new editor if I could fill in for another day. I said yes and promised that I had a really good story for them.

I posted the story early that day, and then two things happened: First, the post blew up immediately. It got picked up by every blog, and then, KABOOM, it was posted on Perez Hilton, which launched the sordid tale into the stratosphere. Second, OMG, I got panicky emails from Dave. It turns out that he didn't know about how popular Wonkette was, and worse, he didn't understand what I meant by "on the record."

"I didn't know you were going to use my name!" Dave said. "And my picture! You've got to take that down!" I tried to explain to Dave that it was too late, that he had agreed to go on the record, and that the post was everywhere and even if Wonkette took it down, it had already been quoted on hundreds of places all over the web. Now it was my turn to panic. I talked the editor and shared David's concerns. There was a lot of back-and-forth between the three of us, and eventually Dave relented (soon after, Dave told me he was glad it had happened, so phew. We're still friends).

In the meantime, poor Dave's phone was ringing off the hook, and I even got a phone call from Good Morning America, who were keen to feature me and Dave. I declined. "What part of this story," I asked, "is suitable for a network morning show? The whole crux of the story, the thing that makes it so outrageous and noteworthy, is that I reported a senator getting shit on his dick! And if I were to talk about it on TV, THAT is what I would want to discuss, because I'm pretty sure that's a journalistic first."

And then Wonkette's editor did something truly unforgivable: to "cash in" on the popular story, he created a second post which included quotes from Dave taken from our private emails discussing his concerns with the story, emails which were understood to be private. I was aghast at having my story hijacked, and Dave was upset because he felt his privacy had been violated again. Gahhhhh. I wrote an angry email to Gawker honcho Nick Denton, and he agreed that the editor had been totally out of line and unethical. The editor left Wonkette shortly thereafter. I believe he was a poor fit for the site to begin with, but this instance was likely the straw that broke the camel's back.

I believe I was considered to be an obvious choice to be the next editor of Wonkette, and some of the Gawker folks kind of tried to hint around that idea, but as I said above, I had done enough for them to know that I didn't want the job, and there was no way I could work full-time at the National Gallery of Art and run a high-volume, commercial website. I made it clear that I really enjoyed working for them, but I wasn't their man.

After that, David Lat and Ken Layne took over, and Wonkette was really good again. I contacted Ken and asked him if he'd be interested in a weekly column about Condoleezza Rice, since obviously this blog alone wasn't big enough to contain all my feelings about America's Princess Diplomat, and thus the Condi Roundup was born. I did the Roundup for about seven months, and during that time really got to like Ken Layne a lot. It turned out that we had much in common, especially our mutual familiarity with Arizona and the desert.

After a while, writing the Condi Roundup got harder and harder as I eventually ran out of things to say about her (or so I thought!). Then Gawker sold Wonkette to Ken, and he let me know that he could no longer afford to pay me for the column. Since it had pretty much run its course, we both agreed that a mercy-killing was in order, and we parted on friendly terms.

So that's my Wonkette story! The site will always have a fond place in my memories, and I'd certainly write for them again, because writing in that voice is really fun.


I don't know their current editor, Rebecca, at all, but I think she's doing a good job, and I still enjoy the site quite a bit. Happy anniversary, Wonkette!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Balinese Travel Tips for Gay Larry Craig



So anyway, public sex activist Larry Craig is nipping out of town (great idea!) to represent the forces of evil at some global warming todo in Bali. Sounds like fun! But is Bali a good vacation work destination for the sexuality-challenged senator? Signs point to yes!

From OutTraveler.com:

"Being gay in Bali is still a very private affair," says Four Seasons public relations director Putu Indrawati. Homosexuality is not illegal, but it is not part of the social fabric of tradition. While many gay Balinese are pressured to marry, they often pursue same-sex relationships. A strong gay expat community has also evolved in Denpasar and around Kuta, although long-term open gay relationships between Balinese and non-Balinese are still rare.


Sounds like he'll fit right in!

From Utopia-Asia.com:

Friendly encounters may lead to a chance to get better acquainted, but you are likely to be disappointed if you arrive with the expectation of finding a holiday boyfriend. Knowing a little Indonesian, and the gentle art of teasing and flirting, will go a long way towards making friends.


I believe Larry's mastery of foot tapping and other coy, flirtatious gestures will serve him well!

But what about those pesky homofascist activists who are so totally unfairly causing Larry so much strife lately? According to GlobalGayz.com, they aren't a problem in Bali:

There are no gay organizations, no gay publications...


Wow! Sounds like the senator couldn't have possibly picked a more appropriate spot for a lovely escape! But will they comprehend the complexities of Craig's particular domestic status? Let's just say that awaiting him are a people who understand him perfectly. Not only is it not unusual for the hairdressers there to have wives, it's de rigueur:

These straight guys as well as their gay peers are held in the tight grip of a tradition that can hardly be flaunted: marriage. It is a rare person, male or female, who can resist the insistent force from within one’s family and friend’s to take on a wife and make "new people" as a waiter at Q Bar told me one evening. At 21 he was living away from his small-village hometown in the north of Bali. He was clearly confused about his future; he didn’t want to marry but he thought he might have to. "Parents want my wife. I cannot be free," he said bowing his head of silky black hair. "But I don’t think about that now."


Like I said, they understand Larry perfectly.

UPDATE: Sorry, but neither squirt.org nor cruisingforsex.com list any cruisy toilets in the area (I checked).

Thursday, May 01, 2008

OK Then, Where's the Blow Zone?



Courtesy of Pony Pal Supreme™ Fritz at CSPAN, we have the above picture of Larry Craig! What's it mean? I have no idea, but since it's Larry Craig, everybody probably went to the other side of the chamber and snickered and made bathroom jokes. Go Larry!

Anybody have any theories about what the colors mean? Oh, I bet you do!

Monday, September 03, 2007

I'm So Exhausted by Larry Craig Week that Tomorrow I'm Going to Take it Easy by Blogging on Wonkette



It's true! I'll be filling in for the inimitable Alex Pareene tomorrow (Tuesday) on everybody's favorite noteworthy smut-rag, Wonkette! Now, considering that the day after Labor Day is one of the most notoriously slow-news-days of the year, all I can say is this: thank goodness for Larry Craig! Because, Pony Pals, there are so many snide comments left to be made! Also: thank goodness the other editor lives on the West Coast and I can scoop the shit out of him before he even wakes up. Yay! Above, please see a superexciting sneak preview of the kind of thing you can expect tomorrow.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Quickie: Amateur Video Producers Want YOU to Understand Larry Craig's Arrest Report

Day four of Larry Craig week is here, and I don't doubt for a second that it'll be as fun as the last three days. We've laughed, we've cried, we've visited very naughty web sites which inspired some of us to spray bleach in our eyes. Hasn't it been wonderful?

Next stop: YouTube docudramas! Here's my favorite so far. What's yours? I'm cryptically tapping my foot in anticipation!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Let's Totally Laugh and Point at Larry Craig



OMG, so that creepy Senator Larry Craig guy? The Republican who thrilled Pony Pals last October when Blogactive's Mike Rogers outed him as a hairdressers' tea room queen? Oh how we laughed! Let's relive some of the chuckles:



OK, so anyway, would you believe he recently got arrested for messing around in a public restroom? Would that shock you? Well, I mean, would it happening after being made fun of by Mike Rogers shock you? I'm impressed that this all happened in June, and he's been able to keep it quiet until now. Isn't that superfun? Let's laugh some more:



Be sure to visit blogactive for the gloating and for far more extensive pointing and laughing.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Republican Senator Larry Craig: Tea Room Queen



Ah yes, Mike Rogers didn't disappoint with his promised outing today. Unfortunately, the outed penis fan is an obscure senator, but it's hard to be disappointed when any Republican with a spotless record of anti-gay public sentaments gets dragged from the closet.



He's got a 0% rating from NARAL and a 100% rating from the Christian Coalition (this may change shortly) ...



... and he allegedly enjoys either giving or receiving blow jobs and/or handjobs in the Union Station restrooms. Larry, Larry, Larry... it's always hotter when it's risky, right?

Oops.

UPDATE: Here is Craig's first denial. This story, oddly, seems to have no traction at all. What if you outed a Republican senator and nobody cared? Does it still make a sound (from the bathroom stall)?

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Congressional Spouse Recommends New US Capitol Visitor Center... for Hilarity



Our favorite new friend, Pony Pal™ Congressional Spouse, recently visited the Capitol because, duh, hubby had to come here to work or for photo-ops or something. Anyway! PPCS went to the new Visitor Center everyone pretty much hates, and photographed for us the wonderful tribute there to Larry Craig, greatest senator of all time. So touching! But that's not the only opportunity for sexytime. PPC-Spouse reports:

Has anyone checked out the statue of King Kamehameha at the visitor's center? One cannot resist the urge to walk up and peer under the fabulous gold loincloth.... go and see!! It will be fascinating to watch for five minutes to see how many people look!


Well, gosh, now I finally really do want to see the Visitor Center! Yay!

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

The Funniest Election Result


Holy cow, what a relief! Dang!

But anyway, my very favorite election result is that thanks to Larry Craig, you have to kind of qualify Tammy Baldwin's victory by calling her the first openly gay senator.

LOL.