Tuesday, August 28, 2007

More Eye-Witness Reports from Larry Craig's Favorite Minneapolis Public Sex Bog

I do these things so queasy, less adventurous journalists don't have to! Earlier today, I told you about the public sexytime locater site cruisingforsex.com, and explained how it could have helped the dependably Republican senator avoid his embarrassing fate. It contained some amusing reviews of the peculiarly lascivious bathroom where Mr. Craig was arrested in June (how did he keep that a secret for so long -- THAT is the real nagging question), and it also featured some warnings when everything got a little too hot 'n' obvious.

I'm pleased to say that I've located a better web site, with more extensive info about this infamous public lavatory and simply loads more said about it by its hot 'n' horny fans. This site, which I'm not naming because I don't want to be a spoilsport, required registration, I'm sorry to say, but I took the plunge, and was it ever worth it! All of the following quotes are absolutely real.

Let's dive right in the glory hole and get things started! First off, Craig's naughty bog was most certainly listed. 16 users of the site gave it an average of 4 out of 5 stars, presumably for hotness. Who goes there? Hunky flight attendants, horny male passengers, locals, and employees of the airport. What's the cruisiest spot? Urinals in the back of the restroom, along with bathroom stall action. No gloryholes yet...but plenty of understall action. Pet peeves? Stall hoggers! Get off and get out! Cleaning crews may be overly curious, but won't interfere.

Let's get to the comments! The most recent are up-to-date:
A US Senator got busted for tapping his foot here. What chance do YOU have?
google "Senator Craig pleads guilty for disorderly conduct" and see what happened to HIM.

But let's go back a few pages to the popular airport tearoom's halcyon days, beginning in the Fall of 2006:

This place is probably the most active public place I have ever seen.I even had one of the washroom attendents was check me out when I was [pleasuring myself] in the very back urinal area. Arrived early for a departure and came through the airport at 5:30 am. Only one guy in a stall. I went in beside him and another guy immediately looked in and took the other stall. He waved his hand under and I got to my knees and let him feel my XL [poultry related euphemism]. I was looking to get [pleasured] so I pulled back and gave it to the guy on the other side who started [pleasuring me] under the stall. I moved into his stall and was pleasantly surprised with some good [pleasuring technique]. I got nervous and left the stall only to get [pleasured] by two mor guys in two other stalls. Everyone knew what was going on & were there to [give pleasure]. Apparently early AM is great. (FYI- I don't live here, only travel through.) It seems that wherever I travel and post my experiences from there, I get a lot of offers to hook up in that town. I'm still getting offers from DFW from three months ago. I do travel to MSP four or five times a year, but don't live here.

And the bathroom's rep didn't suffer for a while after:

U.S Soldier coming home on leave from Iraq. Will be in MPLS on Friday or Saturday, and need to [achieve a tangible result].

Flying into Minneapolis tuesday 10/31, and leaving thursday, 11/2, afternoon. I will be visiting the bathroom and looking for fun.

This place is hot as ever.I stood at the urinal and was soon joined by a TSA guard with a beautiful [male genitalia].

This is an awesome place. I go there every time I fly and have never been disappointed. Always plenty of action.

But then things started getting a little too hot, maybe, and some apparently warranted paranoia set in in January, 2007:

He was between the restroom and the videostore. Hard to say if he was monitoring the restroom specificially, but he was often faced in the direction. I didn't go in because if it.

What can one do legally in a tea room like this? Is it permissible to ask another guy who appears interested to go to a private place like a hotel room? Or would that be illegal? What about just watching another guy masturbate at the urinal?

The first time I found this place a few years ago, there was no one cruising when I entered right away; however, a few minutes later a cute flight attendant from my actual flight arrived and was jerking off. I figured he was relatively safe since I recognized him from the plane. But I get concerned after hearing reports of people getting arrested.

There was a little placating response to this poster, and the totally HOT action continued unabated, but maybe with a little bit of the bloom off the vine by May:

flew threw today and... woah. guys cruising everywhere around this bathroom! sat down in a stall and about 5 seconds later a middleaged overweight guy was on the floor on his hands and knees reaching under. NOT SMART, dude. Way too obvious. Otherwise a lot of guys looking at the urinals and checking each other out. Didn't see any hard action, though.

And, as we know, Senator Larry Craig, superstar, was arrested in that very bathroom on June 11. The party was over. And Mr. Craig wasn't the only one:

[June 21] Watch out. Got cruised by a person who turned out to be a police officer. Because I didn't do anything more than move from the urinal to the stall and back, I was lucky enough to get off with a loitering citation, but it could have been much worse. My days of an innocent little cruise at the airport are over. Stay clear of this place guys.

[June 29] Turns out it is more serious than just a "loitering" fine. The officer told me that I should call the number on the citition to find out what the fine is and pay it within 21 days. He was wrong. I am now being told that I will receive a summons with a court date. I have retainted a lawyer and have spend $1500 so far. Just want to give eveyone a heads-up so that you don't have to go through this shit also.

It's safe to assume that the airport management, by this time, was a little over their washroom being so damn sexy. The next comment, dated July 15, makes an interesting claim, one which pretty much hangs a this nightclub is closed sign on the door:

Cops arrested 3 airport employees 3 weeks ago that were getting it on in the washroom. They are aware of what goes on there and cruising should be avoided. I got this info from a reliable source who works at the MSP airport. Beware.

So anyway, there you have it! It was obviously a mad coincidence that the lovable senator, who, you'll remember, already had attracted rumors concerning his alleged fondness for sex in public restrooms, was anywhere near the above-described place for any reason other than cleaning his eyeglasses! People have such dirty minds! Sheesh!


sfmike said...

Your bravery in registering at the scary public sex website is humbling, Princess, and your discretion is exquisite, but I'm afraid I will never hear the word "pleasure" with quite the same meaning again.

Petulant said...

What a brave pony you are! Cheers for your one pony excursion into the "hairdresser" cruising world! If only Senator Craig had done his research.

DC1974 said...

These people have obviously never been to the Embarcadero Center restrooms at lunch time. Seriously unbelievably hot. Completely not at all used as a restroom. Basically just a free sex club of hot SF lawyers and ad agency types. Or, you know, so I've been told. Or would imagine. Or have imagined. To be fair, though, this is Minnesota. These people don't get out much.

Anonymous said...

has someone taken over the Princess' site? Where is the wit that I'm accustomed to. It seems to have been replaced with just plain old potty mouth. Having pasted it from elsewhere hardly makes it clever.

FranIAm said...

Oh someone named anonymous is a little testy. Larry Craig... is that YOU? If you wanted to play you should have known you might have to pay. (with your poultry related euphemism!)

That said Larry- or whomever your anonymous ass-self is, why are you on PSP's blog? Quelle surprise- look who has shown up at the soiree!

Oh PSP... What you do in the name of good blogging. Register for a sex site? That is No Problem Whatsoever for our plucky hairdressing heroine! Just watch your credit card bills and for viruses.

Bein' as I have a "thing" against hypocrites, especially big gay hatin' hypocrites, I am enjoying the unfolding of this Larry Craig sexo-drama more than a married woman of 50 should. (o doesn't that me me sound o so dour!)

But what else would you expect after living an adult life mostly spent around hairdressing types who had the courage to live as they are in all their bountiful glory. Not holes! Well maybe...

Anonymous said...

YAY for PSP reporting! This blog has so much...content! Of all types! Please please keep it coming.

and YAY for pleasure!

drew in sf said...

I'm beginning to take the opinion that anonymous tearoom grab-ass is it's own special orientation. I know my share of aficionados, but I've never been convinced of its attraction. No judgment, just not my cup of meat.

Anonymous said...

You with your "poultry related euphemism" all over the place.

I now cannot cleanse my innocent little mind of a infamous scene in "Pink Flamingos".

No. Not the singing asshole. (although ---). Not Edie and the Egg Man. Not the doo-doo.

Oh, Jiminy God!

karenzipdrive said...

Why can't these tea room queens do what we lesbians do for action? We simply go to the Home Depot and loiter in the paint department!

FranIAm said...

Oh Karenzipdrive... you know those queens are so not about the paint department! All those bristly brushes and fuzzy rollers?

I mean really.

This is why the lesbians really have it going on. You never hear about any paint-aisle ruckus or misundertandings.

Matty Boy said...

Well, I guess Condi and Ursula don't have to get ready for their next close-up here until this particular comedy gold mine is completely exhausted.

On Keith Olbermann's show last night, a tape recording of some fellow who believes he had a DC encounter with Idaho's Favorite Son. Since it was anonymous sex, he didn't get the name of his new special friend in the restroom, but the speaker said "I'm very knowledgeable about politics. If you showed me pictures of all the senators, I would be able to recognize 75 to 80 of them."

I realize the hairdresser population of D.C. is a vast number, but when I listened, I had to wonder if the speaker might not be a very special PonyPal™, in ways that many other PonyPals™ will never be special.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

HRH King Friday XIII said...

"achieve a tangible result"

HA! I love you, princess.

Those bathrooms will be buzzing when Minneapolis hosts the GOP 08 Convention!

dguzman said...

Has any reporter ASKED him why he was there? I've only heard NPR's and PSP's takes on this situation, but I haven't heard his reason for even being at the airport, much less whether his "eyeglasses" needed "cleaning." WTF? Just some innocent campaign trip? Weekend getaway to see the kids? Where was the wife? Inquiring minds want to know!

Anonymous said...

Pigs are good for Idaho! Or so I read on PSP's post below.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I've been to said restrooms (completely innocently, of course!) and knew that something weird was up. Plus, the CNN monitor above my head here at the PHX airport just reported on this story! Yay for giggles!

Karen Zipdrive said...

dguz- the Minneapolis airport is the major hub between DC and "naughty Boise."

In other news, today at work I went to the ladies' room, took a seat and waited until a GOP coworker walked in and sat in the stall next to me.
I took a "wide stance" and she thought it was creepy. I replied, "Apparently so did the Minneapolis police!"

HAHAHAHA I am loving this!