Friday, May 04, 2007

What if Jeff Gannon Threw a Party and Nobody... Um... Came?

Hilariously cruel reporting from Dana Milbank in this morning's Post:

Let us pray.

Let us pray that, on next year's National Day of Prayer, there is better attendance at the "Bible Reading Marathon" on the West Front of the Capitol.

Organizers put out 600 folding chairs on the lawn -- the spot where presidents are inaugurated -- and set up a huge stage with powerful amplifiers. But at 9:30 a.m. yesterday, not one of the 600 seats was occupied. By 11 a.m., as a woman read a passage from Revelations, attendance had grown -- to four people. Finally, at 1 p.m., 37 of the 600 seats were occupied, though many of those people were tourists eating lunch.

Where was everybody?

"This isn't that kind of event," explained Jeff Gannon, spokesman for the host, the International Bible Reading Association. Gannon, actually a pseudonym for James Guckert, had earned fame in 2005 representing a conservative Web site at White House briefings until it was revealed that he posted nude pictures of himself on the Web to offer his services as a $200-an-hour gay escort.

Let us pray for the power to understand how Gannon made his way from to the International Bible Reading Association.

But wait! The unloveable man-whore sneaks into an item later in the column, too:

Let us pray, as well, for the beleaguered practitioners of Christian street theater, for they deserve greater press coverage.

The Rev. Patrick Mahoney of the Christian Defense Coalition scheduled a "National Day of Prayer observance" and news conference for 3 p.m. yesterday in front of the Supreme Court. Gannon, wearing a Marines baseball cap, arrived to help with the press outreach.

But the event attracted only one photographer (from the Washington Times), one reporter (author of the Washington Sketch) and not a single television camera. The participants themselves were late, and only eight showed up.

Hee hee! I don't know what's funnier: Gannon "helping with the press outreach" (Great choice! He's always been so good with the press! And, hey! He got Dana Milbank to pay attention to him!), or Gannon still pretending he was in the Marines (he wasn't).


Robbyrob said...

Wow, it just doesn't get more bizarre than that, I wish it was a headline in a newspaper somewhere "Gay manwhore hosts bible reading assocication"

Matty Boy said...

You know, Princess, it isn't very becoming to mock your enemies when they have fallen on hard times.

Who am I kidding? It's HIGH-larious!

Poor Jeff, who thought he might have captured an under-served niche, finding instead a lot of stiff competition. This fascist hairdresser stuff is harder than it looks.

(Word verification: humvr)

Hairdo Analyst said...

Wow, thanks for the Gannon update.

I just saw this hilarious typo in today's Democracy Now! headlines, and thought - the Princess must know of this immediately!

"On Thursday Secretary of Rice Condoleeza Rice met with the Syrian foreign minister."

Mmmmmmmmm, Secretary of Rice...

Anonymous said...

Zipdrive here...

Jeff Gannon being associated with a Christian event of any kind would be like me baking biscuits for a sunrise meeting of Repubicons to discuss the public flogging of dykes.
I've seen the naked pics of Gannon and I know he has a big unit, but I must have missed seeing his colossal, cast iron balls.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Sweet Jeebus, Gannon working for the Xtians, this canonly mean the rapture is at hand.

liquiddaddy said...

As Jeff knows, it only takes two to have a marathon.

His "out reach" might have been more like a reach-around.


Fran said...

Something where Jeff Gannon is involved and NOBODY COMES?

In his old line of work, presumably everyone did.

Hmmm.. things sound a bit topsy turvy to me!

sfmike said...

Jesus H. Cristo, you should get a job with Jumble, Princes Sparkle Pony. I figured out the Ho, Ho, Ho, thank you very much, but "Voter/Overt" just about had me stumped.

jolie said...

my world would be ever so empty without you, sparkle pony!

yay pony pals!

samael7 said...

Kudos to him for trying to reinvent himself as something other than a big whore.

Oh, wait . . .

(Well, at least he'll be used to being called "Mary.")